Irreconcilable – representing findings or points of view that are so different from each other that they cannot be made compatible.
Compatible– able to exist or occur together without conflict.
Conflict – a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one
Protracted – lasting for a long time or longer than expected or usual.
Irreconcilable differences were introduced in divorce courts as purely no-fault splits.
Both parties, once full of love and adoration, have gotten to the dreaded ‘point of no return’ defined by resentment and self-pity.
They do not simply wake up and arrive at this point. People often remain together in the hopes of change. Waiting for the renaissance of their partnership, a reminder of the reasons they had been drawn together in the beginning.
Sometimes, they are set in the belief that the version of their partner they had started dating is still deep within the person that stands before them today. Other times, they accept the discomfort of their relationship to avoid being alone, to avoid change. Regardless of the reasoning, the chasm between the two widens as time progresses.
It is not easy to lose a living individual. To go through grief without death. Self-doubt, denial, and hurt pop up as the separation settles into existence. Despite being a phone call or car ride away, there is no longer viable communication between the two.
Change is not an event, but a process. It’s a million tiny choices every single second. And it only happens if it is authentically desired by the one doing the changing. As much as one broods, argues, and nags, it is impossible to force someone to change.