Freud is complicated. He makes sense until he doesn’t. I don’t agree with a lot of his ideas, but he ate with his idea of ‘narcissism of minor differences’.
He presented this idea in his 1930 essay, “Civilization and Its Discontents.” His thoughts prove even more relevant today, with identity politics dominating and dividing the American political landscape.
Narcissism of Minor Differences
Freud was asking a good question –
Why is it that communities, who often share culture, history, traditions, languages, territories, etc. fight with each other so much?
More often than not, they become each other’s worst enemy.
Despite all their similarities, they constantly find something wrong with one another.
Mets and Yankee fans. Catholics and Protestants. English and Scots. Russians and Ukrainians. New Yorkers and New Jerysans. The list goes on.
Freud’s Answer?
Humans are prone to conflict and fear meaninglessness. The more common two communities are, the more they seek to individualize themselves.
Freud argued that the closer two groups are, the more they fixate on their differences. Humans have an instinctual desire, driven by their consciousness, to create a unique identity that separates themselves from people around them. Essentially what makes you, you and me, me.
Every human has self-perception – it is how they navigate the world, and make decisions in their best interest. It is influenced by the communities they live in that, in turn, have their own identities.
When humans are confronted with a new neighbor that is startlingly similar to themselves, they panic. In order to protect their sense of ‘self’ or ‘ego’, they exaggerate their differences and downplay their commonalities.
Both neighbors experience a self-soothing desire to display superiority. In a paradoxical way, it’s easier to get along with someone entirely different than someone almost like you.
The alternative would be too psychologically damaging. A realization that they are not special, regardless of the levels they take to differentiate themselves. The fundamental sameness of humans is therefore lost in constant acts of self preservation.
We Love to Be Different
In Freud’s time, these differences were often based on geography, religion, or ethnicity. Today, in a hyper-connected world, we create new distinctions through consumerism and ideology.
Globalization has made it difficult to feel truly different today. In Western countries especially, where consumerism is promoted as the way to express yourself, humans are left to search for identity in the material and ideological realms.
Clothing, careers, houses, cars, hobbies, TV shows we watch, news stations we tune into, etc. etc.
Sexual orientations, political parties, dietary choices, genders, races, star signs, etc. etc.
While it is amazing that our sense of identities are expanding, our risk of inherent conflict rises with each new, slightly different neighbor that enters the community. As a planet, and especially as a country, we are more alike than ever. Despite this, we have found ego-preserving methods that create unyielding and hurtful societal divisions.
Lowest Common Denominator
Lower taxes, better healthcare, steady jobs, a good quality of life, ‘freedom’, most Americans want the same things. These fundamental beliefs constantly prove inadequate to bond communities when confronted with differing ideologies. In the end, neither party will reach their societal objective.
Today, putting aside differences feels nearly impossible.. Our entire identities lie in the beliefs we have built up to compartmentalize information that the 24-hour news cycle and internet access forces upon us.
So, when will we approach our collective rock bottom?
Maybe an asteroid, or an alien invasion.
It sounds dramatic, but It will need to be something powerful enough to mutually undermine our identities. If history has taught us anything it is only the most tragic events, like wars and pandemics, that have proven to bring unity.
